Successive Approximations

Though I've been dating less frequently, the women I do meet these days are getting to be better-and-better matches. It's becoming rare for me to go out on a date and find we are "definitely not compatible". Instead it's more and more like "ooh - close, but not quite".

In math lingo I seem to be making successive approximations - it's a method used by mathematicians when a single (or multiple simultaneous equations) are difficult to solve logically. The mathematician can make an educated guess about an equation which will solve the problem and see how that compares to the problem. Depending on how close or far off the solution is, the mathematician makes refinements to the guess. It's kind of like learning to throw a Frisbee. The first throw might not make it far enough, the second throw might go over everyone's heads, but the third throw will likely be closer than either of the first two. If you practice throwing a Frisbee enough, eventually it starts hitting its target.

Since I meet potential dates in a variety of ways these days I often have the opportunity to see how an individual interacts with others and how they express themselves before asking them out. This seems to have put a whole different spin on things. Now when I ask someone out, typically I already know them and they already know me. When I get turned down it initially seemed tougher than when the other person was out on the Internet somewhere. But it's getting easier for two reasons: (1) the results are getting better and better, and (2) I understand more clearly that getting turned down has to do more with perceived compatibility (or lack thereof) than being a reflection on me.