Widow dinner

I recently got together with a group of local widows/widowers for a Friday night dinner. Out of a dozen folks only one was further out than me - about three years. Many of the folks had experienced their loss in the last six months, the most recent was only at two months. It felt odd to be the second 'senior' person there at about one year.

We'd all met through an internet 'young widow support' site. I wondered what we would talk about. To anyone else in the restaurant I'm sure we looked like a regular group of folks chatting around the table. It turned out to be perfectly normal conversations about what we'd been through, our experiences before and after our loss, our experiences with relatives, friends and coworkers. One woman remarked several times how nice it was to not be the one single person out to dinner with a bunch of couples. Folks also remarked how nice it was to be able to openly talk about their experience.

One topic was about whether or not you see the deceased in your dreams. Some folks complained that they hadn't but wished they would. One woman said she dreamed about her lost husband every night and every morning she woke to realize he was gone again. She just wished the dreams would stop.