Cancer run amok (hospice discussion)

The past three weeks had been considered an experiment to see what chemo could do for Robin. Her reaction to the first course of chemo began typically. The first seven days she had increasing fatigue, nausea and associated dry heaves. We also saw the tumor just below her jaw shrink rapidly until it almost felt like it was gone. She then enjoyed three to five days in which she was more awake and the nausea began to dissipate.

Then just before New Years things started to go downhill. She began sleeping more and the nausea and vomiting returned. The pain in her body also came back, but was much more severe. She and I came up with various rationalizations why she might be feeling worse, but by New Years day things had gotten so bad we had to take her to the hospital. Last Friday the doctor ordered a second course of chemo, basically to try to help control the pain - and we appear to have had success in that respect (albeit maybe short-termed).

Unfortunately by Friday the tumor on her neck was also back and it appeared slightly larger than in early December. Based on what the doctor has observed during the first course of chemo she indicated that she does not believe it would be beneficial to continue chemotherapy in the future. She stated that if Robin desired a third course (in about three weeks) then the doctor would want to sit down with us and have a discussion about the merits of that option.

The doctor then began to describe some of the services offered by Hospice. In particular she noted some services which Hospice can provide in a home setting, but which the Oncology office could not provide - for instance IV pain medication. The doctor also explained that Hospice does not accept patients if they are continuing to receive therapeutic services such as chemotherapy.

I expect we'll have more detailed conversation with the doctor in the near future, rather than waiting three weeks. Especially since the doctor seems to have formed a opinion about Robin's status.

I had a talk with my Dad earlier this evening about how things are going. I talked about how we discuss this experience as being part of the "journey of life" and about how this a "natural process" and "simply part of life", but I added - this basically really sucks. (well, I had quite a few more choice words, but the blog entry wouldn't be improved by profanity).

Robin's still in the hospital today. We're expecting she may come home Monday or Tuesday unless there's a change in her status. This evening she wasn't feel well (she had the chemo heaves!) so I climbed into bed with her and she snuggled up to me for most of the evening.

And yes, even after all of this, she still has her sense of humor and her can-do attitude!