Robin's proud - power tools!

Well, Robin's got to be smiling today - I've got a new cordless weed whacker and I'm edging the front sidewalk. She always loved her power tools! As I make my way around the house trimming the grass around the flowerbeds I've got a smile just thinking of how she must be beaming with pride!

First Date #8

I suggested a fancy restaurant but date #8 countered with a brew pub, so we found ourselves on a warm summer night having dinner on a deck overlooking the Hudson River (and drinking alcohol on a first date - red flag number one!). I really liked this woman from the beginning which is probably why I was neglecting to evaluate the various things she was saying beyond her words. If I'd been paying attention I would have seen the flags that began with little lies ("I made my age 5 years younger on the dating website to attract younger men") and which gradually expanded into larger "fibs" about her past relationships. Then there was this air of tension - I couldn’t figure out if she just had a high energy level, or if she was always nervous about something - but then as long as I knew her she would always come across as very intense. Anyway, I was enjoying the evening so nothing flagged my enthusiasm.

We would end up dating for about five weeks. My interest in seeing her would eventually bring an end to my dating the woman I'd known all last winter and whom I had continued to date through the Summer. That relationship ended one week short of a "one year anniversary".

This new relationship brought with it a physical fire which would eventually erupt into the emotional side. Number 8 would come to be known as my "fatal attraction" dating experience. In late August things would end in a fireball of accusatory e-mails directed toward me - like meteors steaking across the night sky. I carefully catalogued those e-mails and sent a copy to friends in case I were to mysteriously disappear. I honestly spent a couple of nights wondering if my house would burn down with me in it! Unfortunately #8's e-mails didn’t stop with me - she managed to contact my "one year anniversary" girlfriend and send e-mails to her also.

I *really* got the message that you best get to know your dates as friends for a while before you venture into anything more…

When We left Earth (learning about myself)

The Discovery channel has been televising a series called "When We Left Earth" which documents the U.S. Space Program. The Apollo 8 astronauts would be the first to travel all the way out, around the moon, and back. This was part of a methodical process to test out each new spacecraft component and each space procedure, culminating in Apollo 11 making the first landing.

So it was that Frank Borman, Bill Anders, and Jim Lovell (the Apollo 8 crew) found themselves the first astronauts to lose contact with earth as they disappeared behind the moon and then, in their new lunar orbit, they became the first humans to see the "earthrise" from the moon's horizon.

The astronauts summed up the experience by noting that we'd gone through all this planning, made all these efforts, took all these risks - but upon seeing the earthrise it became clear that while they thought we were going to learn about the moon, in the end we were actually learning about ourselves.

And so goes my summer of dating. I thought I’d set out to simply relearn the dating process - how to set them up, what to wear, where to go, etc. But in the end the greatest journey has been me learning about myself.

First Date #7

Whew - this one started interesting. I had offered to meet for dinner at 5:30 or 6:00pm. She decided to split the difference and chose 5:45pm. Then she explained that she usually runs late so I jokingly offered that maybe we should say 5:45 but just plan on 6pm. She said no, she'd be there on time.

That's what I was thinking about at 6:10pm when she finally called to tell me she was running late but would be there soon. I thought "Would I want to spend the rest of my life waiting for this woman to arrive?" I figured this warranted at least a yellow flag - you think she'd make an extra effort for the first date! After she arrived the conversation was all red flags left and right. She talked about relationships and what 'personal violations' warranted yelling and screaming at your significant other. She was the second 40-year old I'd met who had simply been married for one year in her twenties. Apparently a second marriage hadn't been in the cards yet.

First Date 6.1

Wow - I actually made it to a second date! We met at her house and went for a hike. Her ten year old son would be coming home in the afternoon so we had a fixed amount of time to hike, have lunch and be wrapped up. The main thing I recall reading about dating as a single parent was that you should strive to not expose your children to the folks you are dating until you're sure: (1) that the person you're dating is OK, and (2) that they will be around for a while.

So I was a bit surprised when I knew lunch was going slow and I suggested a couple of times we start heading back but I was repeatedly assured that we had plenty of time. Then I find as we're driving back that we're definitely late and she's calling the Dad to change the drop-off time. I noted that if we all arrived at the same time then I would just get in my car and go, and as luck would have it we did all end up in the driveway simultaneously. Well, Dad never got out of the car but he did stay parked in the driveway for longer than necessary - I suppose sizing me up.

The driveway event could have been written off as chance, but then there were all the other red flags in the stories she'd told about her marriage. Well, it was interesting to have made it to a second date! :)