Inner Compass

I do truly recognize that all the great support which folks provided to Robin and I continued in support of me after she died - and I'm thankful to continue to be surrounded by such thoughtful and caring folks!


I'd have to say there's no way to explain how debilitating the grieving process can be. Debilitating is the only word that seems to comes close to describing what I went through the first four to six weeks. I do like to refer to grieving in the past tense, though I'm continually reminded that there are aspects that will be with me for some time to come! On the one hand I wish no one had to experience such crazy emotions, but on the other hand I hope each one of us cares so deeply for another that it can't be forever avoided.


In March I had described to a friend what I was going through, and the support I was getting and she said "it sounded like I was following my inner compass, and as long as I continued to do that I couldn't go wrong". That day I drew pictures of a compass and put them on the computer monitors at home and at work as a reminder to myself.



Grieving is such a personal thing. I wouldn't begrudge someone who said they "did it in a month", or someone else who said that "things hadn't improved after a year". When you've been through it you know that although grieving people share many commonalities in the process, you also realize that you can't know how anyone else experiences their grief. I think that's one of the core strengths people find in support groups. Knowing that they "can't know" what's going on in someone else's head.


The only way to get a glimpse is to simply ask the person "how are you?".