Sitting Still
Having built a life with someone for so long felt like creating a sailboat. At first a simple lashing together of two simple rafts. A rickety structure that with care is transformed into a mighty schooner - and all done while floating along on the waves.
Of course losing your partner is like hitting a reef and having the ship sink in shallow water - leaving only a portion of the ship exposed above the surf. Some folks wouldn't be able to abandon the ship and (though solo) would attempt to keep the remaining hull in good repair thinking that this particular ship might sail once again.
Others would jump into the surf but not wanting to leave would circle the ship, treading water, slowly draining their energy.
Others would quickly swim to shore and walk away (or run), not being able to bear looking back at the wreck.
Still others would allow their body to ride the vicious waves and be naturally pushed to shore, coming to rest in the unstable sandy surf. Eventually gaining the will to pull themselves up onto firmer ground. Maybe they'd take time to sit and view the ship's remains. Maybe they'd take time to contemplate the fine adventures they'd once had. Over time exploring down the beach but often returning to their perch. Curiously beginning to gather flotsam and jetsam for a new raft.
Me, I can't claim to be any one those characters. Some things I've let happen, some things I've forced, some things I've run away from. I've spent time gathering new materials. I've spent time testing the waters. Lately it feels right to take some time and to sit still on the beach.
2 Comments:
Greg,
We've never met but I was a client and friend of Robins. I just want you to know that I'm still reading and that I am thinking of you and of her. I think of her often and miss her.
I wish you continued healing.
Kathy
Greg,
Like Kathy, I am still reading the blog, thinking of Robin and missing her. I appreciate your honesty as you share the grieving/healing process.
Be well,
Gail
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