Your number one fan...

Life can be very funny. Most of us spend the majority of our time with a partner whom we learn to lean on when times are tough. Maybe we switch partners over the years but at any one time there's often one other person who helps us de-stress. Whether we share our thoughts or we "unload" our day on them. Whether our relationship is smooth or sarcastic. Even when they can't know everything about us, deep down they know more about us than anyone else in the world. Even when you have an extended support network of family and friends, your partner is probably still at the top of the support list. You spend time together, you do things together.

What can I tell you. When that person dies things really suck for a while. It doesn't make a difference if you had time to contemplate it ahead of time - you really can't know what it's going to be like without them until one day they abruptly disappear.

Like the giant old tree that grows for a lifetime. You never know how deep and thick it's roots have penetrated the earth until it's upended by the wind.

Not only are you thrust into the greatest stress of your life, but your number one fan is nowhere to be found. I suspect the shock and the depth of grieving is what drives many people to extremes. Some claim they'll never meet anyone again - they'll be alone for the rest of their lives. Others can't stand the feeling of being fractured and in pieces and they can't wait to fill the void - immediately.

Somewhere in the middle ground there's room to heal a bit, recover your balance, put your own pieces back together (if they even fit anymore), think about what you have to offer and then start exploring. When will you be ready? I expect that's a question for you to answer.