Storytelling

It seems to me that as human beings we often relate to each other through stories. When people get together they are often discussing what has happened today, yesterday or last week. Oftentimes we talk about things that happened months or years ago. It doesn’t matter so much if the person to whom we're speaking is someone we have just met or someone we've known for years. Telling our stories can either be conveying something about ourselves and our past, or it can be a way to share and rekindle memories with someone who may have actually been there with us when an event happened years ago.

I was recently with a couple and I noticed how the depth of their relationship was conveyed in how they told stories together. One prodding the other to tell about something that happened in their past. One helping the other fill in details about a funny event. Exchanging glances back and forth, sharing smiles, all while retelling stories about trying times that they'd been through together. Stories about difficulties they'd faced in their lives and the ensuing confusion. While the tales involved twists and turns, they were retold with humor and self-deprecation, and with the hindsight that only seems to come with age.

I'd never realized the closeness that a couple could convey just through conversation. In hindsight I can see how Robin and I had shared that same closeness of shared history. Hmmm…that's something I miss! It was kind of humorous when we reached the point of knowing so much of each other's history that if one person started telling a story about their past the other person could finish telling the story because they'd heard it so many times before. I guess that's one of the things about being a good listener, a good partner - even when you've heard the story a dozen times, you let the person retell it again anyway.

So it was quite an odd feeling in the Spring to find myself in this zone where I didn't have a partner who knew all about me. All the stories I had to offer seemed to be either about the cancer journey, or about the times with Robin before last summer.

After a while I found myself seeking out new relationships and new experiences. I think for two reasons. One was to meet people who didn't know my recent history. Second I think it's been a way for my mind to start building new experiences - things that I can talk about and share that are part of my history after Robin. It's not that I would avoid talking about her, or about what we went through, but I also didn't want to find myself always dwelling on the past.

It occurs to me as I write this that the blog is just another form of communication, another mode of storytelling. :)