Scared me

Last night Robin gave me a scare.

She had been sleeping for many hours and her breathing had become slow and labored - only five breaths per minute. She seemed to be pausing between breaths. Her mouth was open and looked very dry. Her eyes were not quite closed - they were just barely open like small slits. I was talking to her and rubbing her arm, and I guess I was intending to wake her to say hi.

It didn't seem like I could rouse her. I started to get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and felt a bit shaky. As my anxiety increased I said to her "I'm scared". Then, in opposition to everything we've been telling her, I said "I don't want you to go yet". (whoops - so much for all that support!)

I went and found Dad and I tried to explain that I thought things we're looking pretty bad. We went back and sat with Robin. A little while later she stirred. Her breathing returned to normal and she closed her mouth. As she awoke I gave her some water.

Afterwards I re-read the literature about dying. Apparently it's expected that breathing will become irregular for periods of time. As things progress these periods will last longer and longer. Guess we have a ways to go yet.